You are the most informed auto mechanic out there and I love the videos.  

I have an 89 Volvo 240 DL wagon 2.3L automatic 278,000 on odometer but that hasn't worked in 5-8 years.  Crank engine no start.  It's got two fuel pumps, one in the gas tank and one underneath the car.  Turning the ignition and cranking does not cause the fuel pumps to kick on.  Or maybe it does cause one to kick on (the one in the gas tank but that's inaudible and I haven't accessed this fuel pump to test it) but definitely not the one underneath the car as I tested that. 

It's got a fuse panel right by the hood release, those old school glass cylinder fuses.  It's got two fuses--one for each fuel pump.  If I make a jump wire from one fuel pump fuse to the other, you can hear the fuel pumps continuously run (even without any key in ignition).  Insert key and crank, starts right up. I replaced the fuel pump relay, no change.  What is the next logical thing to test?